You see, I've rewritten the first few pages of the novel, completely. You wouldn't even recognize it anymore. (But if you've read far enough into InkDreams, you will recognize the characters!) So, I've given it some thought and debate, but I will post the new opening below!
It does cut off a little, because I haven't fully connected the opening to the next bit of info, so I apologize. However, I'm still debating on whether or not I should use this as the new opening. All comments and criticism is fully appreciated!
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“It’s...beautiful.” I swatted her hand away.
“And it’s not ours. Thirteen, you grab it. Rabbit, help Cat keep security off our tail.”
“What do you want me to do then?” Friday looked up at me with a full pout.
“Friday, I need you to get us out of here.” Her lips stretched out into a grin. It wasn't as great as being able to hold the loot, but to her this was the next best thing.
“Roger that Clover!” Thirteen grabbed the glass case from its podium, quickly setting our faux case in its place. Glancing back at Friday, I saw her affixing a pulley system of some sort to the hole in the ceiling we had dropped in from.
“We’re good; let’s go!” She urged us, already climbing up. Thirteen followed and then I went up myself. Rabbit had left us long before, most likely by climbing up with brute strength rather than the pulley system. The three of us crawled through the ventilation for a minute before dropping down into an empty storage closet. In there we ditched our black T’s and cargo pants for office clothes (we had stashed our bags in here previously)-- and then I got a good look at Friday.
“Oh not again,” I muttered. She had donned a child’s school uniform, and adjusted her pigtails accordingly. With her height, she definitely looked like a small child, though she was near twenty years old. But she gave me a smirk and opened her arms to me.
“I’m burning those clothes when we get home.” I warned her. She stuck her tongue out at me.
“Oh not again,” I muttered. She had donned a child’s school uniform, and adjusted her pigtails accordingly. With her height, she definitely looked like a small child, though she was near twenty years old. But she gave me a smirk and opened her arms to me.
“I’m burning those clothes when we get home.” I warned her. She stuck her tongue out at me.
“Clover just let her have her fun,” Thirteen kissed my cheek. I ‘huff”’d. Women. Thirteen and I were much too young to have raised Friday, but I can’t help but think of her as a daughter sometimes. This, however, was pushing it.
I picked up Friday and carried her out. Thirteen still had the case, but it was now hidden in a large briefcase. Or her purse. I could never tell what she could and couldn't fit in that thing. We quietly crept out of the room, to see some guards dealing with an inebriated Latino woman who was cursing in slurs. Her top chest looked like it was about to spill out of her top, and the guards were having a hard time deciding how to restrain her without it resulting in some sort of accusation.
“Sweetie!” Rabbit came in through the front doors. “Oh there you are!” He took her by the arm and sent the guards an apologetic glance. Thirteen and I started to move towards the exit.
“I can’t apologize enough to you guys. I know my girl can be quite a handful,” he said to them over Cat’s rantings. He began to lead her away as the ravings turned into a fast-paced Spanish.
A guard looked over at Thirteen and I, and I held a finger to my lips before pointing to Friday, who was pretending to sleep.
“Sorry,” I mouthed. He gave a sympathetic nod, and we walked out of the office building.
Charm had the car running for us, and was in the front seat. When he noticed we were safe, he slid into the back. The rest of us piled into the car, the encased crown finally ours.
“Okay, gimmie,” Charm reached out his hands. I dumped Friday into his lap, and she giggled. “That isn't what I meant, but alright.” Thirteen handed him the case.
Friday pulled out a set of gloves for herself and carefully pried the case open.
“Don’t wear it,” I warned her. She rolled her eyes at me. Charm, with her own pair of gloves, inspected the insides of the crown while Friday held it. He had two fingers stretched out, sliding along the inside of the rim.
“Voila,” he muttered, and pulled out a small, black rectangle. “Found the codes, boss.”
“Great work. Go ahead and make a copy if you think it’s safe to do so. Make two, just in case.” Charm gave a nod and started on the task. Friday was
“Alright, time’s up. Everyone pass your papers to the front.”
I tried not to think about the dent in my grade that would occur once the test had been processed, and reluctantly passed my paper forward.
“Scratch paper next, if you please.” No, I did not please. I folded the paper in half discretely and slid it off my desk and into my lap.
“I mean everyone,” the teacher glared at me. People wonder why I hate math. I handed the paper with my writing up, and cornered my teacher once we were left to our own devices.
‘Careful Belle.’
“Sir, about the scratch paper. I-”
“You can’t have it back Miss Lawrencium.” He stated firmly.
“I know that, and that it’s a safety issue and protocol, but I was just wondering if you’d let me make a copy of it or something. You see, it doesn't contain any materials pertaining to the test, and in fact it’s actually my Creative Writing assignment and-”
“No, Belle.”
“But I-”
“No.”
Incredibly frustrated, I left for lunch.
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